When I was 18 years old, my life literally flashed before my eyes.
I felt a terrible pain in my abdomen. I went to the doctor and discovered I had an ovarian cyst that had burst. They didn’t know it then, but the bursting cyst ruptured a small blood vessel near my ovary.
Over the weekend the pain didn’t subside, so my grandmother quickly took me back to the doctor. Luckily, the doctor’s office was right across the street from the hospital.
The doctor did a routine blood draw, but when she moved toward my lower stomach I winced in pain. As she was pushing around, the blood vessel tore open. I started bleeding out. They quickly realized something was going very wrong. The doctor proceeded to draw more blood, and realized my blood continued to go down. So, they rushed me to the hospital.
Within a few minutes, I started feeling very tired, and my grandmother was staring at me with a very concerned face. Of course, they weren't telling me much of anything. The nurse said, “Let's get you in your room and change into your gown while your grandmother finishes that paperwork.”
As I was changing clothes in my room, I realized I needed to use the restroom. But when nothing happens, I continue to feel like I need to go, feeling an immense pressure. The internal bleeding pooling on top of my bladder was giving me the sensation that I had to use the bathroom when I didn’t. There was a mirror on the back of the door in the restroom. I looked at myself and thought, “Wow, these hospital lights are really bad. I look awful!” I saw an unfamiliar face that stared back at me with dark circles under my eyes and a colorless face. It must have been the lights I thought. I knew it was time to go lie down.
As soon as I got in bed, the hospital team came rushing into my room, scaring the heck out of me. The nurse starts yelling “I can't find her veins, I think they have already collapsed!” She then yelled out “I think I got it” They lifted me off the bed with the sheet I was lying on, threw me onto a gurney and wheeled me toward the operating room.
I started going into shock.
I was so cold, went into a fetal position, and started to convulse. I could see a couple of people’s faces, and they looked really scared. The nurse was rubbing my forehead right between my eyes saying, “Stay with me, honey. Stay with me.” I remember saying in my mind, “What do you mean 'stay with you?"
The hospital staff put warm blankets on me as I continued to have convulsions upon entering the operating room. I then felt this moment of pure calm, love and serenity. It felt like somebody was pouring milk over the top of my head, a warm creamy milk-like feeling was going all through my body as I rolled onto my back and straightened out my arms and legs. I remember looking at the nurse, taking a breath in, and closing my eyes.
I found myself outside of my body, watching the doctors and nurses working on me before a golden light on my left took me away. It was an experience that not only changed the course of my life, but has also changed the way I view and treat people around me.
-To be continued-